Wizard Of Sextown There was an evil, evil, evil wizard that came on up to town That wizard went and snatched them, The hobbits right from their beds, oh yeah Forcing them on a quest to the east to visit sex-village, oh yeah The women there are eight feet tall Arms of steel they can rip you in two, yeah, rip you in two The wizard knew tiny hobbits had oversized hearts of steel That could charm the pants off of any women The union of the four foot man and the eight foot women The wizard knew would somehow save the world Somehow, somehow save the world from peril The wizard knew if he was wrong at least it would be amusing The banshee she cries across the hills (and up my spine) The banshee is following me back home It's the charm of the cease of your ingress Oh yeah, she cries across the hills I can feel her nails down my spine
Catching my skin under her fingers Mutton for the beggars quarters for the thief (x4) I fear not the punishment, not the punishment I fear not the punish the punishment Persuading discourse, they are blinded, by your majesty They abuse your royal ear, they triumph in your woes They're far from charity, assurance that the sun does shine (x2) It's the four foot men of sex-town Being man-handled by an eight foot women Brings us dark, dark times He doth take her from the side, He doth take her from behind He doth leave her from his mind, He doth leave her from his mind I hear the creeping voice, It's gotten in my head Head, head, head, head The proud women of the east feel shame now Even hobbits deserve sex, they just have to pay for it