The Illinois Enema Bandit Frank zappa (lead guitar, vocals) Ray white (rhythm guitar, vocals) Eddie jobson (keyboards, violin, vocals) Patrick o'hearn (bass, vocals) Terry bozzio (drums, vocals) Ruth underwood (percussion, synthesizer) Don pardo (vocals) David samuels (vibes) Randy brecker (trumpet) Mike brecker (tenor saxophone, flute) Lou marini (alto saxophone, flute) Ronnie cuber (baritone saxophone, clarinet) Tom malone (trombone, trumpet, piccolo) John bergamo (percussion over-dub) Ed mann (percussion over-dub) Louanne neil (osmotic harp over-dub)
And now folks it's time for don pardo to deliver our special illinois enema bandit-type announcement take it away, don
'this is a true story About a famous criminal From right around chicago This is the story of michael kenyon A man who's serving time at this very moment For the crime of armed robbery
It so happened, that at the time of the robbery Michael, decided to give his female victims A little enema Apparently, there was no law against that But his name lives on Michael kenyon The illinois enema bandit!'
The illinois enema bandit I heard he's on the loose I heard he's on the loose Lord, the pitiful screams Of all them college-educated women... Boy, he'd just be tyin' 'em up (they'd be all bound down!) Just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag fulla The illinois enema bandit juice He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag Fulla the illinois enema bandit juice
He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag Fulla the illinois enema bandit juice He just be pumpin' every one of 'em up with all the bag Fulla the illinois enema bandit juice
The illinois enema bandit
I heard it on the news I heard it on the news Bloomington illinois...he has caused some alarm Just sneakin' around there From farm to farm Got a rubberized bag And a hose on his arm Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump That he just might wanna pump Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump That he just might wanna pump Lookin' for some rustic co-ed rump That he just might wanna pump
The illinois enema bandit One day he'll have to pay One day he'll have to pay The police will say, 'you're under arrest!' And the judge would have him for a special guest The d.a. will order a secret test And stuff his pudgy little thumbs in the side of his vest Then they'll put out a call for the jury folks And the judge would say, 'no poo-poo jokes!' Then they'll drag in the bandit for all to see, Sayin' 'don't nobody have no sympathy... Hot soap water in the first degree!' And then the bandit might say, 'why is everybody looking' at me?'
Well did you cause this misery? Well did you cause this kinda misery? Well did you cause this misery? Now, one girl shout: 'let the bandit be!'
Bandit are you guilty? Bandit are you guilty? tell me now, what's Your plea? Another girl shout: 'let the fiend go free!' Are you guilty? bandit, did you do these deeds? The bandit say, 'it must be just what they all needs...' 'it must be just what they all needs...' 'it must be just what they all needs...' 'it must be just what they all needs...' 'it must be just what they all needs...' 'it must be just what they all needs...' Etc. repeat